Taking your self into question

I hate how your told that you are good at something, yet you look at something u did and you think u did horrible so then you take into question the comments of your close friends and love ones, and you think are they just saying that? Because I think I'm alright, I hear im good, I listen and look at what I do, I then think I'm horrible so then I'm never sure of who I am in what I'm being told I'm good at.

I think we all like to think that what we love to do, we are good at. But sometimes we love to do something and we're the worst ever at it. Yet sometimes we love what we do, and we are horrible at it yet people have to take us in and we are told we are good even though we aren't. So what are we to believe? Are we actually good at what we are doing but are to self-concious? Or is it that we are actually bad and people say we are good so we'll keep practicing in hope that we will soon get better?

I like to believe that I'm good at what I love to do. There is some stuff I can admit I'm not good at even though I love it. Driving a stick, playing guitar, playing guitar hero, playing hockey, cooking, making cakes, etc.

Yet the stuff I cherish the most and that has made me feel good about myself in the past comes into question and then my self-esteem lowers and that's how it is for everyone. So how do we fix this? If you are a perfectionist film or audio doesn't do anything because you'll find the smallest detail and nail yourself on it. Yet we can't face an actual judge because the anxiety is to much to bare, yet we can't do that as our major because if we really aren't good at it we get screwed.

So what am I suppose to do? What are we suppose to do?

What we label

So I learned this past semester in Oral Communications 101 that we place meanings not in the words we speak, but the people, and the characters that make up the word. A is not "a" in greek. It's something entirely different that they would not understand. Just like the word "shalom" to most people in America means...well nothing. Gibberish to be exact. But in the Hebrew language it means "peace", but it also can be used with greetings, and good byes.

So I'm sitting here doing the basics on my guitar because it will eventually lead to me being a better guitarist as I try to finish writing a song. The same rule that I just explained in the above paragraph section A, applies to song writing. But instead of meaning, because only one third of the world knows what a G# sounds like, meaning of the word, we put meaning to the volume and tone. When you hear two chords clashing together we pull the word "ouch" out of our heads, and we cover our ears. So in essence, guitars are just like people. They speak just as much as people do, only with a limited vocabulary. To be honest, I don't know were I am going with this, but more or less that I'm going with this.

So we label people with meanings, and now sound with meanings. Yet I still think this is not entirely true. In fact to be honest, I could be completely wrong about this whole blog and everyone who is reading this, I just might have wasted your time. In fact I'm actually confused about this as well. I'm to tired to think right now to be honest.

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To truely love Jesus

I was reading DC Talk's book - Live Like a Jesus Freak. And I don't remember what part I was reading, or why I was reading it because I don't read books but for some reason I took it out of my box of books, brushed off the dust, and then opened to a page and started reading. This is what I read.

In Jesus's words - "You did not put oil on My head, but she has poured oil on My feet. Her many sins have been forgiven, for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little, loves little."

This is my thinking of this passage at about 3 a.m. so please bare with me.

How many people out there that are reading this have ever been truely in love or are in love right now? When you think about your significat other you get this instant happy feeling inside of you and you feel that feeling move throughout your whole body from your heart and soul to the tip of your fingers...that's true love. Now try and describe that feeling with actual words...hard isn't it? That's how loving Jesus is...you will truely know that Jesus has forgiven you when you recieve this indescribable feeling inside of you. When talking about him or singing his praises out loud for all to hear you feel the desire to cry tears of over-whelming joy that you love Him with all of your hear and soul. When you realize you love Jesus and you ask for forgiveness and you feel like weeping on your knees...that is when you wll know Jesus has forgiven you and you have personally accepted him as your Lord and Savior.